you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
