My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
