She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
