The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My life is pants optional.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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