I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
