girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
