It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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