He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
