i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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