shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
