I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
