WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
