Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
