i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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