Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize