using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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