Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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