p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
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