did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
