I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize