do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
