so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
