Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
