that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Come on in and take your pants off
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