so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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