The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I wear drunk well.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
