I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
