I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
