And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
