wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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