Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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