i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I have feelings that need drinking.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
