In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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