So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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