We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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