is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
