I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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