yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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