i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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