OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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