Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
