I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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