I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
