Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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