I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
