I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Drunk is not a location!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
