I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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