I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize