are you still at the devil's house?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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