i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
