You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Drunk is not a location!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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