Screwed.edu
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
