Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I have post one night stand depression
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
