Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
