I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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