We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
