he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
