Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
well you can't waste a boner
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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