Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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