The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
