Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
