so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
