I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
